DOING TIME WITH MY SON

Sitting in court feeling the relief of finally being free, I finally paid off all of my tickets. I was feeling wonderful. The courthouse is a place that I sincerely hate. They never start on time but wants you to be on time. The hard pews always seems to make my butt cheeks fall asleep. Constantly rereading the graffiti on the back of the pew in front of me, I roll my eyes. My eyes tend to discern the harshness of the  bailiffs that parade around the courtroom seeking to abuse their authority. It’s like they be waiting to say something. They are always ready to lock somebody up but I am free from all of that, at least that’s what I thought.  My younger son was being very disruptive. Part of this disrespectful behavior was because of the absence of his father (which is another story). He cursed me out like I was nothing to him. At this time he was only ten. He would only do it when he’s out of my reach. I’m out of shape, don’t exercise, running after him is NEVER AN OPTION!!! I’ll always say YOU GOTTA COME HOME!!! And when he do….I don’t want to incriminate myself. However, he’s had behavioral issues since he was five. We’ve been through school suspensions, different medicines, juiced by doctor’s offices (they didn’t care, another story), half ass support from therapist, discrimination from the school system, you name it, we’ve been through it. Now were at a different branch, you got it, juvenile system!!! We weren’t in court yet because he was so young. His counselor (something like a probation officer), gave him chance after chance to get his behavior together. He refused. He had this fascination with guns. His first love was a BB gun. He stole them and he had friends that would supply him. A neighbor spotted him one morning with a BB gun and like a good neighbor he told me. My son was furious accusing him of being “a snitch”  and he shot his window out of his Ford Expedition. This didn’t get him in court yet. After the incident, he ran away from home and stole a bicycle. This got him in court. We had to make our first appearance. It wasn’t until the next court date when I realized that not only was this hard head on probation I was too!!! The problem I had was I DIDN’T COMMIT A CRIME!!! But because I am his legal guardian, I have to comply with the courts as well. I was pissed!!! Can you believe that instead of him getting himself together this fool keeps breaking the law. Every new charge he gets means we have to report back to the place I sincerely hate. The more he got in trouble, the more I felt a strong dislike for him. The situation was like drinking a half of bottle of vinegar or even castor oil. It was like walking barefooted on broken glass. It was the worst kind of bitterness to feel for any human being. I almost felt like I hated him. I’m going to countless appointments and meeting with people every single week as if he was my only child. They had recommendations that I had to comply with or I was going to jail. I had to complete a parenting class. I was resistant at first until the judge gave me 24 hours in jail for not complying. That was the first time I’ve ever in my life been to jail. That was the longest 24 hours ever!!! I hated that place. You have to wear some else under garments. She gave me a sports bra that was so dingy and i almost said something smart but the jailor saw my facial expression and said “Well, at least your panties new.” I was relieved too. Wearing other people panties is like rubbing clicks to me (ewwww). I came on the weekend and all you could do was sit in your cell all day because visitation is on weekends and everybody was on lock down. I was pissed because it was my birthday weekend. I had went the weekend prior but they screwed up the paperwork. I had to report back the following weekend. Who holds them accountable when they make mistakes? NOBODY!!!! I was so happy when I got released. Ain’t no way I can do thirty days in jail. AIN’T NO WAY!!!! I didn’t realize that I showed my son that I wasn’t respecting authority. My issue was that every family that comes in the court room gets the same recommendations. But why??? Every family is different and has different needs. I mean shouldn’t there be different recommendations??? That judge won’t trying to hear me. The last couple of times I went to court, I ain’t say jack, nothing, nada.  I didn’t want my mouth to land me in jail no more. I complied and completed the parenting class. The crazy thing is when the judge locked me up, my son was just getting out of detention. He got out and I was going in. My son has been placed by the courts in a group home. He’s doing ok. I keep him in my prayers and I would like for you too!!!